Dancing Star International

What do you consider to be courageous action?

I’ve heard a number of people talk about courage, and not understood what they meant. Recently I asked, and was told that – for instance – sharing deeply personal information in front of a group of peers is courageous. It seems to me that such a choice is not courageous, but wise.

For a bit of context, I had been participating in a training session at the time, with a local coaches alliance. We were learning about a particular type of coaching and the presenter, a very experienced coach, asked for a volunteer to be coached.

I volunteered because my life was not where I wanted it to be at that time. It was taking me longer to get back on my feet work-wise since my mom’s death than I’d wanted or expected – in fact, I had more clients at the time of her death (after four years of traveling back and forth between Florida and Massachusetts to oversee her care with advancing Alzheimers) than I did two years after she died. I’d traveled to London to explore re-establishing myself there, spent time in both Tucson and Massachusetts, but although I’d re-established some important connections and made some new ones, no reliable income had come through.

It was hard to talk about this in front of my peers – it’s not easy to write about it here. But here’s the thing. I’m not alone. Far from it, particularly these days. Many have been finding it difficult to find work, or are finding things we once relied on aren’t working any more. In fact, I count myself one of the fortunate ones – I have an incredible support system of good friends and colleagues around the world who support me, I’m good at meeting new people and networking, I own a home that I rent out that helps support me financially and to which I can retreat when I need space and peace, I have a profession that I love, to which I’m committed, and that I know I will be glad to be working in when I’m doddering around in my 90s.

And, this was one of those times in my life – times we all face – when the universe was trying to get my attention, to take me to my next level of understanding and growth. These times aren’t usually much fun, but the quicker I recognize it’s happening, the quicker I can go out and find the resources I need to move through this next phase of my journey with grace, resiliency, and with support from others. Which is what it’s all about, at least to me.

Moreover, sharing my story with others often helps them to share their story in turn, sometimes for the first time. This is an important step forward for many people – something we need more of on this planet, IMHO.

We “sophisticated”, “professional”, “advanced” humans have lost sight of this wisdom – how to feel deeply, look at what those feelings are trying to tell us, share those feelings with each other, and help each other learn from the process within a safe container. This is what I have the honor and privilege to do with my clients – and to do it with them, I have to be willing to do it myself.

So, I ask you – is that courageous? Or is it wise?